Friday, June 13, 2014

One of these nights

It's just another night where I just lay in bed trying to figure out this life, wanting to share a piece of my mind with someone else but.. :( no one knows me well enough for me to share my deepest, darkest thoughts with I guess.. Besides, who would even care enough to want to listen to all the negativity and see the pessimistic side of me.. People all just want to have fun and play around and all.

Sometimes I just wished I had someone to talk to about everything, who would have deep conversations with me without hiding anything and have conversations with me that would never end... I guess it's too much to ask for since it's never going to happen. People just talk to me when they feel like it or not and end conversations abruptly.. like what did I ever do wrong..  It affects me quite a lot even though I don't mention it. However, I'm slowly starting to feel numb, it's sad yet realistic. If I were to just disappear for a week and leave my phone untouched, no one would probably even notice and care enough to come look for me. I laugh at myself sometimes for being so shallow, attention seeking, living in my own fantasy and wanting romantic and sweet things to happen in my life... but you can't deny, deep down inside you want it too.

Haha.. Why is everything so confusing? Maybe I'm just out of my mind.. 

1 comment:

  1. Hi Charlotte! Just wanted to say.. I used to feel this way too. In school, I barely met any true friends. This wasn't the case in secondary school, so I also knew that the problems didn't really lie with me. Eventually I got used to depending on myself for everything. Now I've found some who understand and accept me for who I am, people I can talk to abt what's in my head. Don't lose hope and don't feel that you're all alone, you'll get there someday :) in the meantime, being independent is good :) take care!